Funny Love Quotes: Love and life are not complete without humor. When we add some humor to our words and actions, the moments we spend together with our loved ones become happier, memorable and wonderful. Also, if your loved one is away, you can make them laugh by sending them a funny love quote. You can make your love relationship stronger and more interesting by adding a funny love quote with your love.
If you are looking for some Funny Love Quotes then you have come to the right page. Here we have collected funny love quotes to make your love deeper by adding a little extra smile to your love. This collection of funny love quotes includes Funny Love Quotes, Funny Romantic Quotes, Funny True Love Quotes, Funny Relationship Quotes, Funny I Love You Quotes, Funny Couple Quotes, Funny Self Love Quotes, Funny Love Quotes for Her, Funny Love Quotes for Him, Funny Quotes About Love and Life, Funny Love Sayings. So without wasting time, scroll on and read the Unique Funny Love Quotes.
Table of Content
Funny Love Quotes
Funny Romantic Quotes
Funny True Love Quotes
Funny Relationship Quotes
Funny I Love You Quotes
Funny Couple Quotes
Funny Self Love Quotes
Funny Love Quotes for Her
Funny Love Quotes for Him
Funny Quotes About Love and Life
Funny Love Sayings
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Funny Love Quotes
1. “Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.” — Judith Viorst
2. “At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” — Plato
3. “Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.” — Ambrose Bierce
4. ” Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.” — Oscar Wilde
5. “I love you more than anything in the world combined.” – Stephanie Meyer
6. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” — Groucho Marx
7. “What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.” — Pearl Bailey
8. “Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you.” — Dolly Parton
9. “Love means having to say you’re sorry every fifteen minutes.” — John Lennon
10. “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” — Lily Tomlin
11. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” — Albert Einstein
12. “Love is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important.” — Lisa Hoffman
13. “Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” — H. L. Mencken
14. “If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?” — Lily Tomlin
15. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” — Richard Jeni
16. “Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.” — Thomas Dewar
17. “I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.” — Russell Brand
18. “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” — Natasha Leggero
19. “You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.” — Melanie Clark
20. “Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.” — Christopher Marlowe
21. “Home is where you are loved the most and act the worst.” – Marjorie Pay Hinckley
22. “A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.” — Brendan Francis
23. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” — Charles M. Schulz
24. “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” — Jules Renard
25. “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” — Jean Illsley Clarke
26. “You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.” — Hussein Nishah
27. “Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” — George Burns
28. “Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.” — Jeanne Moreau
29. “The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.” — Samuel Taylor Coleridge
30. “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby — awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” — Lemony Snicket
31. “Sexy is the thing I try to get them to see me as after I win them over with my personality.” —Miranda on “Sex and the City”
32. “I say if you love something, set it in a small cage and pester and smother it with love until it either loves you back or dies.” — Mindy Kaling
33. “A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.” — Cher
34. “If you love them in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love them at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” — Miles Davis
Funny Romantic Quotes
35. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate poetry, but I’m into you.” — Unknown
36. “Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.” — Mae West
37. “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” — Blaise Pascal
38. “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.” — Joan Rivers
39. “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” — Henry Youngman
40. “Romantic love is a mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.” — Fran Lebowitz
41. “Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.” — Thomas Dewar
42. “When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.” — Richard Lewis
43. “My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.” — Garry Shandling
44. “If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.” — Alan King
45. “Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.” — Benjamin Franklin
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46. “True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.” — Francois de la Rochefoucauld
47. “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” — Joan Crawford
48. “I can’t make you love me, but I can fill my pantry with your favorite snacks and offer you a weekly stipend of $75.” — Rob Delaney
49. “There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach.” — Barbara Hower
50. “If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.” — Chelsea Peretti
51. “Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy’s arm behind his back. Now who’s asking the questions?” — Jack Handy
Funny True Love Quotes
52. “Love is friendship on fire.” — Susan Sontag
53. “True love stories never have endings.” — Richard Bach
54. “True love stories never have endings.” — Richard Bach
55. “I am catastrophically in love with you.” — Cassandra Clare
56. “To good and true love fear is forever affixed.” — Francois Rabelais
57. “Only true love can fuel the hard work that awaits you.” — Tom Freston
58. “A kiss may not be the truth but it is what we wish were true.” — Steve Martin
59. “The course of true love never did run smooth.” — William Shakespeare
60. “True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.” ― William Goldman
61. “True love cannot be found where it does not exist, nor can it be denied where it does.” — Torquato Tasso
62. “I want true love, because I don’t have so much time, and I want to spend my time with the right girl.” — Bill Kaulitz
63. “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” — Erich Segal
64. “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” — Erich Segal
65. “If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.” — Katherine Mansfield
66. “If there is any country on earth where the course of true love may be expected to run smooth, it is America.” — Harriet Martineau
67. “Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer.” — Jean de La Fontaine
68. “Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” — David Sedaris
Funny Relationship Quotes
69. “Love is sharing your popcorn.” — Charles Schultz
70. “Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.” — Bree Luckey
71. “People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” — Andy Warhol
72. “It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.” — Lucille Ball
73. “Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.” — Pauline Thomason
74. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” — Albert Einstein
75. “Between lovers, a little confession is a dangerous thing.” — Helen Rowland
76. “Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.” — Richard Pryor
77. “As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.” — Ralphie May
78. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” — Erma Bombeck
79. “Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.” — Professor Irwin Corey
80. “The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.” — Milton Berle
81. “Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” — David Sedaris
82. “I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date-date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.” — Dave Attell
83. “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” — Chelsea Handler
Funny I Love You Quotes
84. “If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?” — Casper
85. “I love you more than I think I should.” – Becca Fitzpatrick
86. “I love you.” “I know.” — Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back
87. “I love you more than I hate everything else.” — Rainbow Rowell
88. “I love you and I like you” — Parks & Recreation
89. “I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” — Elizabeth Evans
90. “I love you so damn much that it is starting to steal other words’ meanings. ” — Open-365
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91. “I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” — The Alchemist
92. “I’ve tried so many times to think of a new way to say it, and it’s still I love you.” — Zelda Fitzgerald
93. “Do I love you? My god, if your love were a grain of sand, mine would be a universe of beaches.” — The Princess Bride
94. “I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.” — Angelita Lim
95. “I do know some things. For example, I know I love you. I know you love me.” — Game of Thrones
Funny Couple Quotes
96. “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.” — Joan Rivers
97. “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” — Carroll Bryant
98. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” — Henry Youngman
99. “Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it.” — Phyllis Schlafly
100. “Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.” – Elinor Glyn
101. “If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.” — Fran Lebowitz
102. “Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” — Kathy Mohnke
104. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner
105. “Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” — Megan Mullally
106. “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” — Albert Einstein
107. “I miss crawling into a man’s arm, kissing his neck, saying those three little words into his ear, ‘And another thing …’” — Felicia Michaels
108. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell
Funny Self Love Quotes
109. “Keep watering yourself. You’re growing.” — E.Russell
110. “You change the world by being yourself.” — Yoko Ono
111. “Loving yourself isn’t vanity; it’s sanity.” — Katrina Mayer
112. “Talk to yourself like someone you love.” — Brené Brown
113.“You carry so much love in your heart. Give some to yourself.” – R.Z.
114. “Gonna love myself. No, I don’t need anybody else.” — Hailee Steinfeld
115. “Never give up on anyone. And that includes not giving up on yourself.” — Dieter F. Uchtdorf
116. “Love yourself unconditionally, just as you love those closest to you despite their faults.” — Les Brown
117. “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” — Diane von Furstenberg
118. “One of the most important things you can accomplish is just being yourself.” — Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
119. “You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” — Louise L. Hay
120. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” — Lucille Bal
Funny Love Quotes for Her
121. “Women love a self-confident bald man.” — Larry David
122. “‘I love you’ begins by I, but it ends up by you.” – Charles de Leusse
123. “I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.” — Chico Marx
124. “I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.” — Steve Martin
125. “I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.” — Steven Wright
126. “I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.” — David Young
127. “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” — Phyllis Diller
128. “My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.” — Emo Philips
129. “Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.” ― Sharon Stone
130. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” — Chris Rock
131. “If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards.” — J.A. Redmerski
132. “My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.” — Ray Romano
133. “Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” — Bill Maher
134. “My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.” — Rodney Dangerfield
135. “By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” — Socrates
- also read some Funny Quotes and Saying About Life
136. “You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you’re married to a couch that burps.” — Roseanne Barr
137. “My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan.” — Leopold Fetchner
Funny Love Quotes for Him
138. “The bravest thing that men do is love women.” — Mort Sahl
139. “Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.” — Jackie Mason
140. “A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.” — Zsa Zsa Gabor
141. “What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.” — Cindy Garner
142. “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” — Tim Allen
143. “I went home with this French guy ’cause he said something adorable, like, ‘I have an apartment.’” — Amy Schumer
144. “What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” — Cindy Garner
145. “When a man of forty falls in love with a woman of twenty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own.” — Lenore Coffee
146. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” — Shirley MacLaine
147. “An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” — Agatha Christie
148. “I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more.” – Angelita Lim
149. “Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” — Jerry Seinfeld
150. “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” — Rita Rudner
151. “Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.” — Helen Rowland
152. “My husband forgot my birthday and my anniversary. I didn’t feel bad. On the contrary. Give me a guilty husband any day. Some of my best outfits come from his guilt.” — Betty Walker
153. “Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.” — Jean Kerr
Funny Quotes About Love and Life
154. “Where there is love there is life.” — Mahatma Gandhi
155. “A life lived in love will never be dull.” — Leo Buscaglia
156. “Life is the flower for which love is the honey.” — Victor Hugo
157. “The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” — Audrey Hepburn
158. “Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime.” — Bette Davis
159. “Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.” — Marge Piercy
160. “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” — Confucius
161. “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.” — Sophocles
162. ”Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.” — Elinor Glyn
163. “I would rather spend one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone.” — J.R.R. Tolkien
164. “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” – Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
165. “I believe there are some things in life you can’t deny or rationalize, and [love] is one of them.” — Cate Blanchett
166. ”A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.” — Kurt Vonnegut
Funny Love Sayings
167. “Let’s flip a coin. Heads, I’m yours. Tails, you’re mine.”
168. “You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.”
169. “My wife and I were happy for 20 years — then we met.”
170. “Will you lend me a kiss? I promise to give it back.”
171. “I love you more than yesterday. Yesterday you got on my nerves.”
172. “I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.”
173. “Once in a while, something amazing comes along and here I am.”
174. “The four most important words in any marriage, “I’ll do the dishes.”
175. “Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbours aren’t.”
176. “Love is telling someone that his zipper is open or her wig looks too fake.”
177. “I vow to never wear a flannel nightgown if you vow to never do a comb-over.”
178. “I may look like a potato now, but one day I’ll turn into fries and you’ll want me then.”
179. “I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.”
180. “A man’s job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month.”
181. “Sometimes your knight in shining Armor turns out to be an idiot wrapped in tin foil.”
182. “When a boy gets jealous it’s kind cute. But when a girl gets jealous, World War 3 is about to start.”
183. “Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically, a clown ninja.”
184. “I love my relationship with my bed. No commitment needed. We just sleep together every night.”
185. “If your significant other is mad at you put a cap on them and say “Now you’re super mad!”. If they laugh, marry them.”
186. “I promise to love you, respect you, support you, and above all else, make sure I’m not just yelling at you because I’m hungry.”
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