225+ Unique Funny Quotes and Saying About Life

Welcome to our wonderful collection of Unique Funny Quotes and Saying About Life. Laughter is the best medicine to reduce stress. Laughter is not only reducing stress; it also lowers blood pressure and relieves depression. It’s also an excellent workout and releases endorphins.

Everyone needs a little humor in their busy lives sometimes. If you are looking for funny quotes and saying for laughs or to relieve yourself of stress then you have come to the right page. Here are some of your favorite Unique Funny Quotes and Saying About Life So without wasting time let’s jump in.

Table of Contents

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life Lessons

Funny Inspirational Life Quotes

Funny Inspirational Quotes for Work

Cute Quotes About Life

Funny Life Changing Quotes

Funny Quotes About Life and Love

Funny Sayings for life

Funny Quotes About Life

1. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” ― Albert Einstein

2. “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” – John Wayne

3. “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” ― Robert Frost

4. “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” ― Blaise Pascal

5. “Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.” ― Stephen Hawking

6. “I’d rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.” ― Terry Pratchett

7. “Reality continues to ruin my life.” ― Bill Watterson

8. “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” ― Will Rogers

9. “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.” ― Will Rogers

10. “If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti

11. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” ― Elbert Hubbard

12. “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt” ― Mark Twain

13. “Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence.” – Hermann Buhl

14. “Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.” ― Christopher Hitchens

15. “Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.” – David Letterman

16. “Life is just one small piece of light between two eternal darkness’s.” ― Vladimir Nabokov

17. “Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” ― Mark Twain

18. “Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.” ― Chili Davis

19. “If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?” ― George Carlin

20. “Short cuts make long delays.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

21. “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” ― Phyllis Diller

22. “I don’t necessarily agree with everything that I say.” ― Marshall McLuhan

23. “The planet is fine. The people are f*#ked.” ― George Carlin

24. “When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.” ― Bill Watterson

25. “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” ― Albert Einstein

26. “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” ― Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

27. “No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it.” ― Fernando Pessoa

28. “The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.” ― Bill Maher

29. “Happiness is a warm puppy.” – Charles M. Schulz

30. “I’m very much down to earth, just not this earth.” ― Karl Lagerfeld

31. “One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” – Rita Mae Brown

32. “Be happy. It really annoys negative people.” – Ricky Gervais

33. “He who laughs last … just didn’t get the joke.” ― Carroll Bryant

34. “…personal torture instructor…I mean physical therapist.” ― Simone Elkeles

35. “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

36. “One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” – Rita Mae Brown

37. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” ― Woody Allen

38. “If at first you don’t succeed, quit. When life gives you lemons, quit. When the going gets tough, the tough just quit.” – Jim Rome

39. “We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.” ― Douglas Adams

40. “I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here.” ― Arthur C. Clarke

41. “If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.” – Johnny Carson

42. “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” — Forrest Gump

43. “Life is too short to be reading quotes about life being too short. Stop reading and go live your life!” – Kevin Ngo

45. “Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” ― William Goldman

46. “Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.” ― Ellen DeGeneres

47. “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire

48. “If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.” ― Woody Allen

49. “Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.” ― Robert Benchley

50. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” – Katharine Hepburn

51. “When I was your age, television was called books.” ― William Goldman

52. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” ― Cathy Guisewite

53. “All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.” ― J.M. Barrie

54. “Hooray! Hooray! The end of the world has been postponed!” ― Hergé

55. “This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.” ― George V. Higgins

56. “Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.” ― Golda Meir

57. “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” ― George Harrison

58. “If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” ― Steven Wright

59. “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” ― Isaac Asimov

60. “Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.” ― Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

61. “A hangover is the wrath of grapes.” ― Dorothy Parker

62. “Plans are invitation to disappointment.” ― Derek Landy

63. “It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life.” ― Terry Pratchett

64. “And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” – Confucius

65. “Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.” — Carl Sandburg

66. “Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.” ― Mark Twain

67. “A learning experience is one of those things that says, ‘You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that.” ― Douglas Adams

68. “Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.” ― Charles Bukowski

69. “Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You’d have a chance at least. You could lie there thinking: Well, at least I’m not dead.” ― Tom Stoppard

70. “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ― Albert Einstein

71. “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.” ― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

72. “To get back my youth, I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.” ― Oscar Wilde

73. “I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.” ― Dave Barry

74. “If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.” ― George Carlin

75. “If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armor and shouting ‘All gods are bastards!” ― Terry Pratchett

76. “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow! What a Ride!’” ― Hunter S. Thompson

Funny Quotes About Life Lessons

77. “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

78. “Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” ― Allen Saunders

79. “Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” ― Woody Allen

80. “I’ve had great success being a total idiot.” ― Jerry Lewis

81. “Pressure is something you feel when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.” ― Peyton Mannin

82. “The funniest people are the saddest ones” ― Confucius

83. “When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.” ― Lily Tomlin

84. “All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.” ― Chuck Palahniuk

85. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” ― A. A. Milne

86. “To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.” – Gustave Flaubert

87. “A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.” ― Bill Cosby

88. “The only way Bex would miss this would be if she were unconscious. And tied up. And in a concrete bunker. In Siberia.” ― Ally Carter

89. “I can’t decide whether I’m a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I’m a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that’s how I know I’m a woman!” ― C. JoyBell C.

90. “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” – Will Rogers

91. “You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well, guess what, I get F’s!!!” ― Bill Watterson

92. “If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That’s what people remember.” ― Terry Pratchett

93. “Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this. Books are where things are explained to you; life is where things aren’t. I’m not surprised some people prefer books.” ― Julian Barnes

94. “You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.” – Chris Rock

Funny Inspirational Life Quotes

95. “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” — Truman Capote

96. “Life is a first impression. You get one shot at it. Make it everlasting.” – J.R. Rim

97. “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” — Dale Carnegie

98. “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” — John Lennon

99. “Here is a test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished – If you’re alive, it isn’t.” — Richard Bach

100. “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.” — Groucho Marx

101. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” — Steven Wright

102. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” — Robert Brault

103. “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” — Mark Twain

104. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” — Franklin P. Jones

105. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” –Yogi Berra

106. “Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.” — Lillian Dickson

107. “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.” ― Douglas Adams

108. “Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.” ― Terry Pratchett

109. “You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” — Woody Allen

110. “There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through…There needs to be a monster truck option.” — Jeph Jacques

111. “When something goes wrong in your life just yell ‘PLOT TWIST’ and move on”. — Molly Weis

112. “I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.” — Groucho Marx

113. “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” George Carlin

114. “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” — Albert Einstein

115. “The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much.” – William Hazlitt

116. “Life is short and the older you get, the more you feel it. Indeed, the shorter it is.” – Viggo Mortensen

117. “Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.”– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

118. “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”—Confucius

119. “You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry.” – Walter Hagen

120. “Life is short, and it is here to be lived.” —Kate Winslet

121. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” — Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

122. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.” — Dr. Seuss

123. “History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.” — Winston S. Churchill

124. “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome

125. “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” — Frank Zappa

126. “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.” ― Mindy Kaling

127. “I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying.” — Shawshank Redemption

128. “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive.” – Maya Angelou

129. “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”  –Maya Ange

130. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” — W.C. Fields

131. “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” — Betty Reese

132. “Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.” — Dr. Seuss

133. “Every now and then I like to do as I’m told, just to confuse people.” — Tamora Pierce

134. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.” — Oscar Levant

135. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” — Albert Einstein

136. “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It is the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln

137. “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.” – Soren Kierkegaard

138. “You can’t live an exceptional life by being “normal.”” – Nick Maley

139. “Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.” ― Niels Bohr

140. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” — Robert Benchl

141. “Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.” — Terry Pratchett

142. “Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.” —  Langston Coleman

143. “An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it.” — Don McAr

Funny Inspirational Quotes for Work

144. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” — Unknown

145. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost

146. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” — Oscar Wilde

147. “Kill them with success and bury them with a smile.” — Unknown

148. “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” — Frank Zappa

149. “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.” — Charles J. Sykes

150. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a room with a mosquito.” — Dalai Lama

151. “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” — Kyle Chandler

152. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” — Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

153. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” — Franklin P. Jones

154. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” — Steven Wright

155. “It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

156. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” — Mark Twain

157. “Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.” — Og Mandino

158. “There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do.” — Amy Poehler

159. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs…one step at a time.” —Joe Girard

160. “I cannot afford to waste my time making money.” — Louis Agassiz

161. “When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best — that is inspiration.” — Robert Bresson

162. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” — Albert Einstein

163. “In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.” — Harold Geneen

164. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” — Elvis Presley

165. “Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.” — Mark Twain

166. “When life brings big winds of change that almost blow you over, close your eyes, hang on tight, and believe.” — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Cute Quotes About Life

167. “Life is like a cup of coffee or tea. No matter how bitter it may be, it is always enjoyable.” –Jason Wong

168. “Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone.” — Zayn Malik

169. “It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.” — Laura Ingalls Wilder

170. “The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.” — Ritu Ghatourey

171. “There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” –Oscar Wilde

172. “To be stupid, selfish and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.” — Gustave Flaubert

173. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” — Miles Kington

174. “If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.” — Lawrence Ferlinghetti

175. “When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.” — Anmol Andore

176. “Life is worth living as long as there’s a laugh in it.” –L.M. Montgomery

177. “In life, I have met many friends and people whom I have loved dearly. All this has been possible because of a life full of joy happiness and peace. Humor is another factor that helped me on my way in life.” –Bob Lyres

178. “You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.” –Henry Louis Mencken

179. “The only time I don’t have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground.” — James Jason

180. “No matter how big a hammer you use, you can’t pound common sense into stupid people.” — Unknown

181. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” — Alan Dundes

182. “There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?” — Woody Allen

183. “Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.” — Euripides

184. “The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived.” — Oscar Wilde

185. “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” — Socrates

186. “The trouble with the rat-race is that, even if you win, you’re still a rat.” — Lily Tomlin

187. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns

188. “A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.” — Lana Turner

Funny Life Changing Quotes

189. “By changing nothing, nothing changes.” – Tony Robbins

190. “If you want things to change, you need to change and change things.” ― Aiyaz Uddin

191. “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” ― Woody Allen

192. “Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.” ― Jonathan Safran Foer

193. “When in doubt, choose change.” – Lily Leung

194. “I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” – Aldous Huxley

195. “Life changes very quickly, in a very positive way, if you let it.” – Lindsey Vonn

196. “Change and adventurously ride the waves of life… or stay the same and drown in stagnancy. It’s your choice.” ― Steve Maraboli

197. “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” ― Winston S. Churchill

198. “Change yourself not others and have them watch you” ― Isaac Nash

199. “The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” – Oprah Winfrey

200. “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” – Winston Churchill

201. “When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed” ― Laurell K. Hamilton

202. “There are things I can’t force. I must adjust. There are times when the greatest change needed is a change of my viewpoint.” —Denis Diderot

203.  “If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction – and ultimately, without a major resolution.” ― Jasper Fforde

Funny Quotes About Life and Love

204. “What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.” – Pearl Bailey

205. “Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” – H. L. Mencken

206. “At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” – Plato

207. “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin

208. “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns

209. “Love is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important.” – Lisa Hoffman

210. “Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you.” – Dolly Parton

211. “To answer your question, you want me because I’m made of awesome.” ― Gena Showalter

212. “A real girl isn’t perfect and a perfect girl isn’t real.” ― Harry Styles

213. “Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.” ― Marian Keyes

214. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” – Dr. Seuss

215. “Age does not protect you from love, but love to some extent protects you from age.” – Jeanne Moreau

216. “Sometimes you know you’ve got a chance with a girl because she wants to fight with you. If the world wasn’t so messed up, it wouldn’t be like that. If the world was normal, a girl being nice to you would be a good sign, but in the real world, it isn’t.” ― Nick Hornby

Funny Sayings for life

217. “I have my moments, I just can’t remember where I put them.”

218. “It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools.”

219. “Laugh and grow fat.”

220. “Learn from your tears and you will win laughing.”

221. “Be all you can be and live a good life — have fun with it.”

222. “When two friends dip into their purse, one laughs, the other cries.”

223. “Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.”

224. “It’s a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get.”

225. “When the postman rings twice, don’t answer it.”

Conclusion —

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